Well it has been a long time since posts. I am steadily getting bigger and bigger and this just all got so real. We have started our antenatal classes and that is making it so real and it is so great to be surrounded by other pregnant couples. I have also now joined a online pregnancy group who are all due around the same time as me and that is just amazing as you get a lot of support over all the little aches and pains and worries us pregnant ladies have. Morning sickness stopped about Week 24/26 so thank god for that. I am currently on bed rest again as I had a nasty gastric flu which led to severe dehydration and now a possible bad kidney infection so I am totally whacked out but the antibiotics are helping a lot.
So still having morning sickness, it has lessened somewhat but still very much present. I manage but gosh morning sickness is really tough going. This week is exciting, I have been feeling flutterings in my tummy and this wierd sensation of baby moving around, just a sensation and I keep having these images of baby in my mind, like little flashes, it is gorgeous and I guess it is my mind focusing on baby. My hormones are a bit better, just more tearful at times really. I am simply exhausted this week and hubby is also, so he is either in sympathy with my pregnancy or else we both have a little lurgy, i am betting on the lurgy , it is hard to actually do anything when I am so very tired. I am also massive, big and growing more and more. It is lovely, I have been having fun dressing I can tell you.
My girl cat is very aware of my bump and I am putting up a little photo of her cuddling up to my bump, she was purring into it, so that must be nice for baby as baby can hear now, albeit a bit muffled. we have our scan at week 19 so that will be something.
Wow, we had our 13 week scan last week and all baby arms, legs, working kidneys and heart all accounted for. It was a tremendous moment seeing our little bub on the big screen, moving and kicking.. it will be simply amazing when I feel bubs kicks in my tummy, that could be any day now…. It has been a very emotional couple of weeks and I have been feeling very overwhelmed but good phone calls with my mum and my sister has helped me get through. Hubby is my rock but sometimes I think even he is overwhelmed but this is all normal. It is a huge thing in our lives now and it is good that we are in tune with the hugeness and impact it will have on us. We are super excited though . I am so glad to be feeling stronger now, no morning sickness, fatigue has slowed down, I am still hugely aware of my limitations and it is a task to organise my housework around that, but I am getting there. My house has been simply stink lately as I have been so very unwell and hubby has been caring for me, bless him but we have kept on top of it lately and It is good for me to figure out how to cut housekeeping corners, because when the baby is here there will be blessed little time. xxxxxx
Well, pregnancy progressing well. Morning sickness has somewhat abated, so fingers crossed I am over the hump. There is a lot of things about pregnancy you don’t realise, the constant worry over everything, as it slowly sinks in that you are carrying a new life inside you and the risks can be scarey but I am just looking after myself and also a lot of rest and reading fiction helps keep me on an even keel.. I have been getting through a book a day so I must stock up !! My underwear is getting too snug, so a nice excuse to spoil myself to some lovely Hotmilk lingerie, who says that pregnant mammas cannot be sexy :0) Hotmilk is lovely and very very lacey and feminine and just the ticket when you feel unglamourous due to morning sickness and constant fatigue. I have been trying to pamper myself with home facials and wearing foundation to keep my complexion glowing artificially. My hue has been more grey and white than actually pregnant glow, so it all helps. xxxx
Well, It has been fairly quiet for the rest of December and early January whilst on bed rest, so I have not been posting. Too boring to comment on really and very slow changes.
So here I am, week 11 and I have been suffering with morning sickness and fatigue, my word, I did not realise how awful you can feel in Trimester 1, but at least it means that baby is doing well and growing strong, so I am pleased with progress. We heard the heart beat last week and wow it is so fast and so strong.
I am now more mobile, apart from fatigue and morning sickness which is getting less but I am still vomiting every night before bed,which may continue for another few weeks yet. I have managed to start a prenatal exercise class which was fantastic after months of immobility, so that is great. I also plan to start a prenatal yoga class as well, it is time now for me to build up some strength and stamina as I feel very very weak from inactivity.
I am back to work next week and I cannot believe it, I am really hoping I will start to feel better before that, how other women work their way through this difficult time I have no idea, so at least I am doing it at home, but from next week, it will be in the public eye, so I reckon lots of makeup to hide the white face and bags :0) xxxx
Well ultrasound showed normal sac with our little black blob. Not Ectopic so we are hugely relieved about that. Our doctor was great and basically told me that I was far too tough for my own good, Stoic Irish woman, were his exact words, as apparently I should have been ringing them about my pain and discomfort far more than I had . But to be honest, I did mention it to the nurses and they just repeated that it was going to be uncomfortable for a while and to drink lots of fluid and take my panadol so that is what I did, the fact that it got far worse and I had to go to Hospital was just the way it was going. But anyhow, I have been under house arrest, moving only from bed to couch with very little in between, literally I am under orders to put my feet up and rest. I have for once in my life actually been doing what I am told and I have some great books and I have been knitting a baby vest and catching up on all my Girly TV programmes. I am now addicted to Teen Mom and Pregnant at 16 !!! but it appears to be working as apart from intermittent pain which is only about a 2 or a 3 out of 10, I am doing well and although my poor tummy and ovaries are still big, it is getting less I think. I am on a strict fluid intake so I am watching that. I have been making a few forays outside for a little walking and just to get out of the house and so far so good.
Well Wednesday at 2am I was rushed into hospital with chronic pain in my abdomen, Hyper Ovarian Stimulation… scarey scarey times… the pain was simply indescribable, my poor husband woke up to me screaming in agony… when we got to the hospital, they thought I was having an Ectopic Pregnancy and 2 days in Hospital, with IV and morphine they finally realised that it was more than likely Hyper Stimulation… so I am now at home on rest with some moving around to stop blood clots but ultimately to take it easy and keep my feet up. My poor tummy is massive due to my enlarged ovaries but that should go down in a few weeks time. We had our first ultrasound today and saw our little blastocyst and it is just a black hole at the moment which is the sac it will be living in.. it looks like a 6 week pregnancy but we are five weeks along and so far so good. The doctor was lovely today and very sympathetic to my week of drama but I have had 3 pain free days now, some twinges today but I am prepared and take the meds straight away I feel anything.. so after all that hassle, I feel that I am definitely due a trouble free pregnancy now… xxxx the main thing is that the baby is fine and next week we get another ultrasound which should hopefully give us a heartbeat.. apparently there is chance of twins.. so gosh still processing that fact and we shall see how it goes.. I know it would be hard on the body but I would not mind two identical twinsxxx
Well we got our first positive pregnancy blood result last Thursday and are totally bowled over. I honestly felt that all the changes in my body indicated a pregnancy so am thrilled by it. Blastocyst is very strong and I am getting uterine cramping as it grows and expands already to accommodate the baby and definitely felt some implantation cramping too.. it was a scary few days when I felt period like cramps but am thrilled that it is not a period and is in fact a pregnancy.. whoppeee !!!
Another positive pregnancy blood test today and they are happy that my pregnancy levels are rising so I am to start weaning myself off the progesterone so I will start that tomorrow and fingers crossed.
I actually had some morning sickness over the weekend and gosh that sucks and am definitely feeling fatigued, it is weird because I am really tired about 4pm and if I sleep i will sleep until 10pm and then I am awake for hours trying to get back to sleep and have very restless legs and arms but I have looked it up and this is all normal.
My poor tummy is still very big, it looks about 3 months pregnant from the egg collection, just fluid collected there and my ovaries would still be swollen so it takes a while for that to go down, but hey it gives me a good idea of what to expect in the next few months doesn’t it.
We have been spreading our good news to immediate family and friends who have supported us through IVF and that has actually been a big number of people, but we feel confident that our little Blastocyst has decided to stay so are happy.
We have two eggs frozen so are pleased to have those for future use.
Well it was great news once we arrived at the clinic. We had those two lovely eggs which were rampant so one was being used and one frozen today and then apparently 5 of our other eggs are going strong and will be monitored over the next few days and possibly frozen as well. This is very important for us as this means that we have them in storage if A. this one is not successful and B. they can be kept for up to five years so we have them in storage for the next lot of babies:0) .
I have been told that I have a lovely uterus on several occasions so I am very positive that my little blastocyst will be taking a look around and settling into its new home. The implantation was tough and not sedated but I got through it fine and it was not very long but who enjoys having a speculum and a catheter up there for like 10 mins with a full bladder might I add so yes pretty uncomfortable but thankfully, it was a textbook implantation.
When we first walked in, they had a picture of our blastocyst on the big screen for us to see, I was asking the nurse, do you think it has my eyes:0) Hubby is getting a copy of the picture and I guess I will post it here for all to see.
I have spent the rest of the day sleeping and then just lying on the couch as I do not plan to do anything strenuous for the next few days. I am still uncomfortable so resting helps me.
A note on my darling pussy cat Cockles, cockles to those of you who do not know her, is my gorgeous grey tortoiseshell. She has been an absolute rock during this process. She seems to intuitively know when I need cuddles. When I got back from my egg collection last week, she sat by my legs all day which is kind of rare as she normally potters about but she actually stayed with me the whole day and didn’t go back out, little angel. Her brother Muscles, my black boy cat, literally took one sniff of me and backed away, Hubby reckons I smelt of hospital so Muscles associated me with the vet, I did not like that. And now today my darling Cockles came up and sat on my chest and cuddled and cuddled for an hour with big purring and loads of licking, she is a good egg. Us girls must stick together.
So positive news and we are both really hopeful about this. Gosh it is good that is over and that we can sit back and relax a bit with this. I want to be a mother and love this little blastocyst soooo much already and I hope it is happy in its new little home and it sticks around. If it is a clever blastocyst it will, as it will be loved and spoiled for the rest of its life with two loving parents who will give it all the love, time and support we can. We have a blood test next week, so we will get some tentative pregnancy results with that. We will now just relax and focus on the future and getting back to normal. xx
Well I have been waiting until I feel better to blog as I wanted to be positive but honestly I am in really bad pain and highly emotional right now and it is not going away .. The egg collection was so scary and I was so glad to have hubby by my side every step of the way, he was just as scared as I was and we had an anxious wait until I put on my gown and they brought me to the theatre. There were two nurses and the doctor there and a little hatch where the embryologist was waiting to get my eggs. They had great difficulty getting a vein and that sucked, I thought that I would be completely knocked out but sadly no, just some happy drug which means, yes you guessed it, I could feel everything, I am starting to cry just writing this, which is why I didn’t want to blog about it. I talked the whole way through the procedure, which is what I do in situations with needles etc.. it does help me focus on something else and not what is happening.. hubby held my hand the whole time and so did the nurse so that felt good.
Onto funny things I said. 1. when the embryologist opened the hatch… I was like wow.. you are like that villain in Dr Who, you know the one with the eye patch :0) she saw the funny side so no offending there 2. this led to some interesting dialogue about science fiction films 3.my nurse was lovely and indulged my incessant questions like, oh you have beautiful eyelashes, are they real.. people pay a lot of money for those beautiful eye lashes..your accent is cool, where are you from… oh i have been to California.. Disney land… …… you get the picture.
So home and sleep and then the phone call that they got 12 eggs, which is really good… I have been pretty much on the couch ever since… I deviate between pain and sleep mostly, the Panadol do help but yesterday it felt so bad and uncomfortable We were getting really worried about it, so today I rang the nurses and asked them “so how bad is it supposed to hurt !” and she was lovely and told me that it was normal and that they had taken 12 twelve eggs and been rooting around in my ovaries so they are now swollen and filling with blood so yes it was going to hurt like hell and keep taking the Panadol, drink lots of fluids and bed rest.. so I felt a bit better that it is normal, but man alive it sucks.. I woke up in such agony I was nearly screaming this morning after hubby left for work, it was nuts…
Saturday we got the update on our eggs, so only six are viable. The six that weren’t were a combination of two malformed eggs, two empty eggs and two that didn’t mature enough. We had opted to donate our unusable eggs for them to study which i think is a good thing as it is incredible science and anything we can do to further their studies is really good for everybody. So left with six eggs, on Sunday we were scheduled for an implantation but got a phone call in the morning that the eggs were dividing well, two were eight cells, two were four cells and the other two were 3 and 2 cells… so they were focussed on the eight cell eggs but neither of them were standing out so they want to wait until Tuesday and hopefully they will continue to divide and they will be at the stage they call “blastocyst” which is essentially the stage where the egg would normally take a trip to the uterus and implant. Implanting at that stage gives a higher rate of pregnancy chances so we are all for that.
So tomorrow is implantation day, frankly at the moment, the thought of anyone touching me down there or anywhere near my ovaries makes me feel sick to my stomach as I don’t want any more pain, but that is the little girl in me talking, the adult is explicit that I will do whatever needs to be done and do it graciously and with a smile on my face and a song in my soul and pray for a baby at the end of this.
There is always a chance that there might be nothing to implant tomorow and if you undertake this process you have to be ready to accept that and as sad as that makes me, I am ready, we are both ready.
It looks like I am going to be in pain for the best part of this week and I feel bad about not being at work as I didn’t plan that it would be like this, this week, but the positive side of it is that the reason I am so sore is that they got so many eggs, so that has to be a good thing.
Once the egg is implanted, it will be 36 hours before it attaches, so I will be taking it so easy and resting for that period and then really it is life continuing as normal. I just want to stop hurting inside and to get back to normal and get busy. We have a blood test on 29th November to say whether we are pregnant or not and then I will not relax my routine until end of January when we have passed the 3 month mark and I know that my baby is here to stay.